Paris. You're a Gozillionaire. Buy Some Tits -BP

Paris. I hate you for many reasons.

I hate you because I have no idea why you're famous.

I hate you because, when you went to jail, you monopolized CNN coverage for 40 days.

I hate you because your sex tape puts me to sleep.

But, MOST OF ALL.

I hate you because you have more money than the U.S territory of Puerto Rico, but still you have no juggs.

No self-respecting hotel chain heiress should walk around sporting less than a D cup.

I don't make this stuff up. If you don't believe me, check the manual.