A-Rod's Epiphany - YPY

Dang. I threw it all away for half-century old Kabalah twat.
Ain't that 'bout a burnt biscuit.
Alex Rodriguez

Tell Us How you Really Feel, Mr President - FB

Down with Jews, towel heads, CNN, the gays, Michael Moore, women, Al Gore, France, reason, Kanye, California, alternative energy, Katrina, peace, John Stewart, privacy, the popular vote, the manatees, the Euro, Saddam, global warming, a woman's right to choose, Allah, the internets, and Niggras.

The Airbrush Used To Create "Clothing": Proof That The Debaucherous Dark Lord Satan Himself Attended The 2008 ESPY Awards - WC

Once, when asked by Stuttering John, in an ambush interview for The Howard Stern Show if he liked White women, the prophet The Honorable David Allen Greer responded: "I feel that the best way to get to know the devil is by f*cking his woman."


Even though the model on the far right looks a lot like an extra-terrestrial, we (I), at Haterade On Ice, still love White chicks in body paint.

There isn't really much more to report here.

White chicks. Body paint. Yay.

Dear New Yorker, It's Stupid To Be Too Smart - BH/DJD/IHWTH

Personally, I don't have a problem with The New Yorker's controversial cover illustration of Barrack Hussein, our nation's future 44th president, dressed in typical Islamic fashion. Similarly, I don't have a problem with the depiction of Michelle Obama, looking like a gun-toting militant version of Helen Willis from The Jeffersons.

I have a freaking problem with the fact that it seems most Americans are so stupid, that they don't realize that The New Yorker is calling them STUPID!

The danger lies in the sad fact that, at a time when an alarmingly large segment of our population seems to think that Barrack is part of some Islamic fundamentalist sleeper cell, a satirical piece such as this one will only serve to validate the beliefs of all the back-assward hillbillies that take every word on Fox News as the gospel.

The New Yorker is written BY smart people FOR other smart people. Hillbilly tards should refrain from even trying to fathom any of the content whatsoever found inside (that includes on the cover) of this award-winning publication.

And so, you f*cking geniuses, it is with great sadness that I issue this plea to The New Yorker:

Dear New Yorker,

Please dumb it the f*ck down or your liberal asses are going to see a 286 year old Republican (who, incidentally, shot down Martin Luther The King day in much the same way that his ass was shot down over Vietnam) elected.

Love,
Haterade On Ice

It's Official: Tards Like Turtles - CYT

From the first frame of this video, you can tell that this f*cker is off balance.

All I know is if this little Slingblade wielding tard shows up at my door on Halloween, I'm spraying him with a fire extinguisher and calling the authorities.

Big Up to my best friend Ike at Dirty N The Beest for this one.

I Hate M. Night Shama-rama-lama-ding-dong

By all accounts, M. Night's 15 minutes of fame just ticked past the 14 minute, 58 second mark.

Shama-whatever-the-hell has just signed on to direct something called The Last Airbender.

Sounds like the nail in the coffin of what looked, at one time, to be the career of a promising filmmaker.

A New Group Will Play "Where's Steve 'Waldo' Fossett?" - WWPHTMM

This is perhaps the best example of what can happen when White people make entirely too much money and get bored with life.


"Adventurist" Steve Fossett made his billions trading soybean futures, so of course it makes perfect sense that he'd make the leap to adventure aviation. Right?

We all remember when this fruitcake went missing last year after his small aircraft went off the grid somewhere over the Nevada wilderness. Search planes cris-crossed some of the most forbidding terrain in the country for weeks in hopes that Fossett would be found. I'm not sure exactly how long the searching went on because, at some point, I stopped caring enough to follow the coverage on CNN -- but the point is they never found Steve or his borrowed aircraft.

Well, friends and neighbors, it seems a 10-member team of elite athletes and expert mountaineers will soon take a crack at finding Waldo -- they'll all be paying their own way. I don't know about you, but I'd probably be kind of pissed if I found out that even more taxpayer money was being thrown at finding a guy who fully knew the risks involved in enjoying his chosen avocation.

There will be an update if and when the latest search team turns up anything. I'm sure you all are holding your collective breath.

Big Up - Amelia Earhart

FYI - FB

He's lying right now.

Back to you in the studio.

Another World Record For Something That Shouldn't Even Have a World Record: Smashed By Whitey - WWWWP

It's a well-known fact that White people love to break world records for all sorts of utterly ridiculous things.

In keeping with White people's insatiable desire to break asinine records, Jim Purol, of Annaheim, CA is attempting to break the record for sitting in the most seats within a 48 hour period. How? Well, by placing his ass in all 92,542 seats of Pasadena's Rose Bowl -- how else?

I live about 45 minutes from the Rose Bowl and I'm seriously thinking about driving over there and slapping the ever-loving hopped up Jesus out of this fool.

Wal-Mart: Lower Prices For Paco, Sambo, & Soulja Boy. Everyday! -

Memin Pinguin, Sambo -- Tomato, TomAHto. Screw it.It seems that the hicks on the board at Wally World finally realized that the whole black-face thing is considered non-pc.

The retail giant is pulling from its shelves a popular Mexican comic book seen by some as racist.

In a statement released Wednesday, Wal-Mart talked about its decision to remove the comic.

“Wal-Mart received a customer complaint regarding the availability of the Memin book, based on a cartoon character popular in Mexico, and recently made available in Wal-Mart stores as part of a series of Spanish-language titles. Because we take customer concerns seriously, we have decided to no longer distribute this product in our stores and are in the process of removing existing copies from store shelves."

“Wal-Mart carries a wide array of products that reflect the wants and needs of Hispanic customers. And we understand that Memin is a popular figure in Mexico. However, given the sensitivity to the negative image Memin can portray to some, we felt that it was best to no longer carry the item in our stores. We apologize to those customers who may have been offended by the book’s images,”

Are you pulling this Sambo's cd off the shelves too?!?!



Didn't think so.

Big Up - Tar-zsay

Jesse Jackson Has A Haterade IV Drip - WWWBP

As a negro myself, my biggest beef with other Black people as a whole is that most of them (us) still just don't "get it". What I mean to say is that Black people cannot seem to grasp the concept that BLACK PEOPLE THEMSELVES are the main obstacles standing between their (our) race (I prefer the word, culture) and the promised land that Martin Luther The King spoke so eloquently of.

Case in point: the chimp in the picture above.

I don't refer to "Reverend" Jackson as a chimp because he's a Negro, I call him a chimp because he's easily excited, reacts wildly without forethought, and functions on a set of simple principles with almost no room for adaptation.

The civil rights movement is OVER. Period. In many ways, it was over that day the shots rang out at The Lorraine Motel in Memphis -- the day "Reverend" Jackson smeared the blood of Dr. King on himself and played it up for the news crews. That was the day that one of the last men of the movement truly willing to die for his beliefs did just that.

After that, the vultures swooped in. They scavenged what was left of a noble legacy --they raped a cause and bore from it bastard children. Greed. Self-service. Opportunism.

And now the vultures are themselves little more than fearful relics. They privately recognize that their cause no longer really exists -- especially not in the way they insist on preserving and displaying it. They chant the mantra of "racism", and by doing so, keep it alive like a hidden ember that still burns, only now without passion, in the hearts of White people. By keeping it alive, they keep themselves relevant. They remind an entirely new generation of humans that they still exist. They drum up the memberships of their organizations. They fuel the contributions that allow them to enjoy the standard of living to which they have become accustomed -- a standard afforded by the deaths of men greater than themselves.

For Jesse Jackson and his ilk, admitting that the path to acceptance, advancement, and inclusion lies in one's own readiness to take responsibility for oneself would be "career" suicide. Why? Because it puts all the pressure on the person each of us sees in the mirror. At that point, the evil White Boogeyman vanishes instantly and guess what -- Jesse has to get a real job for the first time since he left the chicken coop -- in short, White people DO NOT oppress a group that is SELF-OPPRESSED.

So, "Reverend" Jackson, I'd tell you to raise your glass of Haterade, but the truth is, you're already drowning in it. To express a desire to "cut Barrack Hussein's nuts off", is the ultimate in hate. To show contempt for a man who has risen above so much of what you would claim still holds Black people down is the ultimate contradiction.

And at this stage of the game, any lack of acceptance stems NOT from the "Barrack Obama" people see in Barrack Obama, but rather the "Jesse Jackson" you force people to assume must be innate in people of color simply because we are of color and, therefore, identify with nothing other than our color -- because our color is what's holding us back. Right?

Wrong. You are.

Haterade Salutes The Flips. Don't Worry, I'm Still Going To Offend You.

I've mentioned in previous posts that I make every effort to maintain a good rapport with the fine folks at WPSSCC. The main reason is because they control the world and I don't want any problems. But another is because they have access to and track all sorts of information that the rest of us wouldn't have even known existed.

Recently, I contacted WPSSCC to get some info on who you weirdos are who actually read this stuff I spew. Imagine my surprise when my favorite WPSSCC representative (Heather) told me that I evidently have a very dedicated reader in the freaking Philippines(???).

At that point, the only thing I knew about our neighbors waaaay the hell out in the Pacific was that Arnel Pineda who most recently took up the lead vocal duties in my favorite band ever (Journey) is a Filipino guy that the group found singing cover tunes on YouTube -- touching story, actually.

Oh yeah -- and the fact I bought some fake Nikes on eBay once from a Filipino seller. Anyone who knows me also knows that I am a sneaker connoisseur, so I was outraged when the shoes turned out to be about as authentic as an $8 bill, but that's neither here nor there and I'm rapidly digressing.

So, I decided I should take the time to learn more about this interesting little island nation.

The picture above is of a golden crowned flying fox-- the largest species of bat on earth, found only in the Philippines. This thing has a wingspan of at least 5 feet and loves figs.

You mean to tell me that you people have what amounts to a housecat the size of some Haliburton unmanned aerial vehicle swooping around that place all willy-nilly?!?!?

F*ck that noise, Homie.

The lead singer of Journey, counterfeit items out the wahzoo, and the world's biggest bats: I salute The Philippines!

I hope you people are proud of yourselves.

I Guess Ninja Throwing Stars Are Passe - WWWAP

Does anyone else remember the days when Asians were stereotypically very passive and studious?

This the 2nd time in the last few years that a young Chinaman has snapped and started popping caps in innocents -- and here I was thinking the whole Seung-Hui Cho thing was a fluke. Now you're telling me I have to worry about the Asians going straight up Lee Boyd Malvo on me? Great.


Thai-An Huu Nguyen, 22, of Garland, TX, faces three counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. Garland police say Nguyen told detectives the day after his arrest that he was targeting Asians and Hispanics. During an interview with detectives from Richardson and Garland, Nguyen said he had been involved in two altercations months before involving both ethnic groups and wanted to get back at them.

Several people were injured in the shootings, which happened from June 29 to July 1 in Garland, Mesquite, Richardson and Plano. The majority of the shootings involved cars stopped at red lights or traveling on highways. Police said one of the shootings occurred outside a restaurant, police said.

Although not all of those shot were Hispanic or Asian, detectives think he perceived the shooting victims were, Garland police said.

See?! They DO all look alike -- even to other Asian people!

Big Bertha Is Spinning N*gga, She's Spinning! - WPSSCC

And so it starts, Kids. Another hurricane season is upon us, and this year Bertha is setting things off for us. She's recently been upgraded to category 3 status with sustained wind speeds above 115 mph. Watch out Bermuda.

It seems like every year, storms get a little burlier and the hurricane seasons are a little logner. Could someone please call WPSSCC?

I know somewhere, the inventor of the internets, Al Gore, is sitting back listening to gangsta rap music (fuck off, Tipper), watching Big Bertha starting to swirl, and thinking, "I tried to tell these monkeys what the deal is".

Big Up - Chris Rock

Old McDonald Had A Fruitcake... - WWWWP/TRG/DJD

In an earlier post, I addressed Euro-domination of cycling.

In an even earlier post than that, I addressed "furry fandom"

I am now positively horrified to report that these two worlds have evidently collided -- the proof of which is a beautifully composed photo of a couple of fruit loops cheering their favorite Tour De France riders on to hot, sweaty, two-wheeled, Spandex ensconced (TRG) Euro-victory.

E-I-E-I-O

Hey Alex, Is "A-Rod" Mexican for A-Hole? - YPY

I know, I know. He's "Dominican-American".


I thought I'd offer my readers a view of exactly where Cynthia Rodriguez' divorce lawyer's dong will be inserted when it's all said and done.

Anyhoo. Alex, mi amigo, you have played yourself on a scale that can only be described as EPIC.

I can't even remember how many gozillions of dollars The Yankees agreed to pay you back in the day, but I DO know it was an absolute shitload.

And now, you are going to give an awful lot of it to your soon to be ex-wife. Why, you ask? Because among other offenses, it seems you haven't been able to keep your bat out of MA-FREAKING-DONNA'S nappy dugout?!?!?!

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEALLY?

May I remind you that this is the same 50 year-old vagina that Dennis Rodman and Robbie Van Winkle (among COUNTLESS others) have been beating up since the 80's? Oh yeah, and Jeff Spicoli -- can't forget Spicoli.

As you may have noticed by the recent divorce misfortunes of one Mr. Russell Simmons, family court judges these days don't play -- and Big Russ didn't do anything nearly as egregious (that we know of) as boink one of the biggest whores in pop culture history.

Next time, take a page out of the book of one of the most notoriously (allegedly) unfaithful husbands ever, who just so happens to be the greatest basketball player to ever live -- Michael Jeffrey Jordan. He went back to Jaunita after a month of bachelorhood. Guess he figured that it just wasn't worth 150 million of his Nike dollars.

Remember Alex, you earned those millions. Don't throw any of them away because you're all Kabbalah-whipped by the high mileage va-jay-jay of the next Cher, for fuck sake.

You Will Now Feel The POWER Of The Dark Side -- I Mean, The Juggs. Sorry Lord Vader - BP/DJD

A clip from America's Got Talent -- a shining example of why so much of the world hates us.



I won't even make this a racial issue because I suppose a washed up, middle-aged stripper of any race, sporting lob-sided silly-cone juggs with (obviously) absolutely NO sensation left in them whatsoever, could end up on national television in front of The Hoff, Sharon, & the obligatory British talent judge, crushing entire 6 packs of cans and breaking boards with her bazooms like a proper 9th degree Karate master.

I think the most sobering fact we must all bear in mind is that there was a first time that Busty Heart attempted this little stunt.

What in the name of all that is good and holy would make a b*tch try this to begin with?!?!?!

Jesse Helms: OUTTA HERE! - WWWWP

The list of what made this cocksucker a fuckface during his 4 terms (1973 -1997) as North Carolina's U.S. Senator is long and legendary. To itemize his offenses here would cause me to expend waaaay more energy on this fucker than I'm prepared to do EVER. I've already given him enough of my consideration.

Suffice it to say: I'm glad you're dead, Senator Helms.

Now turn that thumb over, fella! Show the nice people where you're headed!

White People Have Made Up Yet ANOTHER "Sport" - WWWWP

Well Kids, it's official. White people are THE most bored people to ever walk the Earth -- so much so that they've invented another "sport" to blow off a bit of steam after a stressful work week at WPSSCC. It's called Wife Carrying.

For fucking fuck sake. Really?

The picture above was taken at this year's Wife Carrying World Championship which took place in Finland today. You geniuses read it right. There is actually a World Championship for this sort of fuckery.

If anyone has pictures from this year's Baby Mama Carrying Championship that took place in Harlem a few weeks ago, feel free to share them... I'm just saying.

Blogger's Note: The winner of the WCWC wins the wife's weight in beer -- PRICELESS!

Men+Oil+Wrestling=Gay To The 48th Power - TRG/WWWWP (turkish edition)

I guess the Muslim world has found a cover for its gayness and they're calling it an "annual oil wrestling festival".

Wow.

Every year since 16-freaking-40, about 1,000 Turks have gathered on a grassy field beneath the hot Turkish sun to get their grapple on (TRG). The pickle puffers participants, who put on the traditional OIL SOAKED LEATHER TRUNKS (TRG), engage in a form of male mounting "no holes holds barred" wrestling called Yağlı Gűreş that dates back to the Ottoman Empire -- we (I), here at HOI, just call it really, really, REALLY gay.

And now for the pink icing on this fluffy little cupcake:

Victories are achieved when one puts one's hand into the trunks of one's opponent and "controls" him.

As always, the standard "I couldn't make this shit up" disclaimer applies.

Big Up - "Nature Boy" Ric Flair, Dusty Rhodes, Richard Simmons.

VIACOM! Soon, Satan Will Know Your IP Address - WPSSCC

Viacom is the Satanic media arm of WPSSCC. Whether you know it or not, these fuckers control an alarming amount of what we see on TV. And soon, they'll know a lot more about us all.

In a crushing blow to internet privacy, a court has ruled that Viacom (the parent company of CBS, MTV, Showtime, Paramount Pictures, and countless other media outlets) has the right to view ALL of internet video juggernaut Youtube's user account info.

That's right. Soon Viacom's lawyers and computer geeks will know your name, IP address, and how many times you've watched videos of its copyrighted material -- not to mention the fact that you've added to your Favorites that video of the tranny wearing a silver thong, doing the Running Man to Rupaul's Supermodel.

Google, who acquired Youtube in 2006 for just north of 1.6 BILLION dollars, fought the good fight. The internet search giant maintained all along that videos posted in violation of copyright laws were disabled as soon as they were reported. But in typical WPSSCC fashion, Viacom wasn't trying to hear it.

Viacom alleges that they don't intend to use any of your account info to find you and sue you, but they are out to prove that copyrighted material has overtaken original user-created video in popularity. If the company doesn't intend to seek legal action, I can't fathom why they need to know so much about us all -- but we all know that Whitey always has an angle. They'll probably start to SPAM us all with Everybody Loves Raymond: Season 43 DVD offers.

Don't believe Viacom is Satan yet?

It owns BET.

Nuff said.

I Can't Read & I Gots To Pee - WWWBP:

Dear Moms and Dads,

Meet R&B singer and (acquitted) pedophile, Robert "Arruh" Kelly.

He's functionally illiterate and will marry your 14 year old daughter or, at the very least, pee all over her if given the chance.

That's all.

Love,
Jason

2 Aggressive Animals Blacks Have Typically Overlooked When Choosing A Pet. - WWWBP

Those familiar with Black culture know that no weekend outdoor festival enjoyed predominantly by Black folk would be complete without lots of albino boa constrictors and pit bulls. I have never quite been able to figure out the connection Negroes seem to have with these animals, but as soon as I do, rest assured that an essay will follow.

In this ever-changing world, however, I think we must all be open to change. Moreover, we owe it to ourselves to constantly re-evaluate what is conventional and, when prudent, rewrite the books in the name of progression and advancement.

It is in this spirit that I propose the following:


Black people should strongly consider replacing albino reptiles and pit bulls with broncos and actual bulls as The Official Pets of Black People.

I mean, think about it. Can you think of any other 2 species that have more in common with black people?

No gorilla jokes, please.

Both are strong, powerful, and potentially quite ill-tempered. Both were also indispensable as beasts of burden during the construction of this great nation. And, like Negroes, no other creatures on Earth have tried harder to throw White people off their backs.

It's perfect.

And yes, the Genius Switch is welded in the "ON" position.

Thoughts Of Food Or Food For Thought? - BH

As an expert on reading Black people's facial expressions, I have prepared an analysis of what our nation's future 44th president (accept it, White people) was thinking in the above photo.

Mmmm mmm mmm! I can taste them chitlins already!

Pigs feet! Y'all got any? I loooooove pigs feet!

Brang me some collards! What?! No collards?! Well brang the mustards then!

Hillary got a nice ass -- I'ma smack it! Bill still my n*gga tho!

Do I smell cornbread? I know cornbread when I smell it!

I looooove pigs feet!

Let Loose The Black Kraken! - WWWBP, BP

Haterade Disclaimer: For the record: I'd like it known that I fully respect and support a woman's right to shake her ass, capture said shaking on video, and disseminate it to the masses who are of legal age to view such.

However...



Videos such as this one should be made on the weekends when the baby daddy is watching little Shyquan. Shyquan should never be exposed to this sort of thing -- and he sure as Bruce Lee was a Chinaman shouldn't be the VIDEOGRAPHER!!!!!!

This is just vile.

Shyquan is cheering mama on and telling her to "shake it".

There's a bra dangling from the bed post.

As a strong proponent of pointing fingers and placing blame, I'm currently scouring my mind for someone to blame this on.

Q: Do I blame White people for what the institution of slavery has done to rob an entire culture of its dignity and self respect?
A: No. People must take responsibility for themselves and their actions at some point and rise above their tragic history.

Q: Do I blame Luther Campbell for introducing black women to the art of ass shakery somewhere back in the mid 80's?
A: Possibly. I'll come back to this one.

Q: Do I blame BET for providing a forum for the coons who have given us such pearls as Crank Dat Batman?
A: In part. BET is responsible to some extent for everything that has gone wrong in the world since its inception. But the network cannot be held solely responsible.

But perhaps the time for contemplative musing is at an end.

Perhaps we should steal some moves from the baddest group of White folks ever -- The Gods in Clash of the Titans. When they got fed up with fuckery, they let loose The Kraken on fools.

Unfortunately, the closest thing Black people have to The Kraken is Reverend Run.

Dang!

White People Still Have Learned Nothing From Dorothy's Ass - WWWWP/WPSSCC

It's a well-known fact that black people do not take photos of tornadoes, as they feel they are controlled by White people and therefore quite scary and dangerous.

So, upon seeing this photo, I knew immediately it had been taken by a White person.

The Globe Gazette and Mitchell County Press News reported that Lori Mehmen of Orchard, Iowa took this photo from outside her front door.

I wanted to know why the b*tch didn't just RUN. So...

Today, I placed a call to White People's Secret Society Central Command (WPSSCC). After enjoying several minutes of Led Zeppelin hold music, I was connected to a representative who introduced herself as Heather. Following a brief exchange of pleasantries, I let her know that the purpose of my call was to learn the status of White people's research on weather control.

Heather informed me happily that the only effective method of climate control thus far remains deliberate excessive carbon emissions resulting in global warming.

I knew Heather was lying. White people have secretly controlled much of Earth's weather for years. Nevertheless, she seemed like a good enough sport, so I probed further:

Haterade On Ice (HOI): This may seem a bit of an odd and off-topic question, Heather, but what is it with White people's fascination with storm chasing? Specifically tornadoes.

WPSSCC: (laughter) That's one of the most frequently asked questions by non-whites, Sir!

HOI: My friends call me Jedidiah.

WPSSCC: Well, Jedidiah, as you may have noticed, we White people are quite a curious group! We are fascinated with all facets of everything!

HOI: You don't say. Really?

WPSSCC: Yes indeed! We want to know how it works -- whatever "it" is.

HOI: Even dangerous and potentially lethal acts of nature?

WPSSCC: Especially dangerous and potentially lethal acts of nature! This also includes the most lethal killers in the animal kingdom as well.

HOI: You mean other White people?

WPSSCC: (genuine belly laughter) You are a card, Jedidiah! I was speaking more along the lines of cobras, stingrays, and lions.

HOI: Ahhh. Got it. I'm more interested in weather-type stuff today though.

WPSSCC: Of course, I got a little carried away. Tornado chasers, was it?

HOI: Yeah. I've never quite understood what it is about one of the most dangerous natural acts on the planet that makes White people pull out their digital photo devices -- as opposed to... I don't know... like hide in a closet or something.

WPSSCC: May I read from the manual?

HOI: Feel free.

WPSSCC: To be a member of White society held in good standing, it is incumbent upon one to document lethal acts of nature as they are encountered. This includes, but is not limited to, flood, hurricane, tornado, earthquake, tsunami, volcanic eruption, or catastrophic brush fire. It is irrelevant that all of these phenomena have been captured on film and video countless times before. One should assume that recording new images will ensure that no minute detail will ever go undocumented.

HOI: That's in the manual?

WPSSCC: Every word of it.

HOI: Wow.

WPSSCC: Shall I read the section regarding dangerous animals now?

HOI: Nope! I think you've answered my questions today, Heather. Thanks for your time!

WPSSCC: You are very welcome, Jason! Any time!

HOI: (hesitant) My name is Jedidiah.

WPSSCC: We know what your name is. (whispering) We know everything.

This = Not A Good Day - DJD/WWWWP

Cycling is a sport that will always be dominated by Euros (European White people) or adventurous wannabe Euros (White non-Euros who wish they were). The image above is precisely why.

If you'll examine the photo closely, you'll find that there appear to be no Negro limbs flying about in the melee. There are a few reasons for this.

1. FIRST AND FOREMORST: As hip-hop culture often recognizes if not glorifies reckless styles of driving ("ghostriding the whip", "doors open Mayne", etc), Black people fully respect the level of danger involved when sharing the open road with an entire world full of fruitcake drivers.

2. Cycling attire is generally composed of tight-fitting colorful outfits made of Spandex and/or Lycra. While Black people generally do prefer their outfits to be outlandishly colorful, they are almost NEVER tight-fitting, as clothing that hugs the body is considered to be quite gay (TRG).

3.Cycling is a very expensive sport -- with the best bicycles costing well upwards of $5,000. The simple truth is that spending that much money on something as frivolous as a bicycle interferes with the Black person's need to install expensive chrome custom wheels on their vehicle.

Big Up - Lance Armstrong, E-40

Another Reason I Won't EVER Move To India - DJD

Meet Ram Singh Munda and his pet sloth bear Rami.

It seems that Mr. Munda has found himself in a bit hot water as of late because, even in India, it's not all that legal to own a bear -- let alone take the little fucker out for spins on one's bike.

Rami, whom the Mundas considered a part of the family, was sent to a zoo where he has since put his little heartbroken bear self on a hunger strike.

To make matters worse, Munda's imprisonment has led to his abandoned 6 year old daughter being remanded to boarding school. Dang.

This story ranks just above "Blinged-out cows" at #487 on The List Of Reasons I'll Never Move To India.

My Eyes Just Burst Into Flames & Exploded In Their Sockets - TRG

A dancer performs for the spectators during San Francisco's 38th annual gay pride parade on Sunday, June 29, 2008. (AP Photo/ Tony Avelar)

Umm. Yeah. OK.

How about?

Pickle Puffer struts his Skittles. What in the ham sandwich hell is going on around here? (Haterade On Ice/ Me)